I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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