Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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