Just mADE A PArabola og urine
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Too much gin, very little bucket
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
