I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
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