Me too!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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