Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
