dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
