Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
