I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
