I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
