I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
