he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
