I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
