What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
