Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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