This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
