I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
