i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
