I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
