Kareoke will never be a sober sport
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
