Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
