All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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