Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize