Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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