I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
