I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
