Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
she pinky promised me she was 18
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
