Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
