He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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