I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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