Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
