oh god the rape fog is back!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
