Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
