In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
