The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
