girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
