At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
