I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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