the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
