Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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