Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
