I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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