# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
