I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
