it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize