I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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