Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I will be naked everywhere
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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