No, drunk sperm still make babies.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
