So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
