We're like a lot better than the average bears
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
it glows. i had to have it.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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