My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
