We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
