i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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