oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
