From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Randomize
