I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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