I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
