So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
