I just made out with a guy for $7.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
