No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
